I Miss You
by BTRobsession
Summary: Its been a while since Logan's visited his dad. He decides to visit him for Father's Day. kogan/oneshot.


**A/N: HI! I decided to try writing a fathers day fic. i hope it wasnt bad. it just popped in my head so i wrote it. i hope everyone likes it**

I sat down on the orange couch and let out a long sigh. I picked up my new medical magazine, and started to read it. I flipped through the pages, but nothing seemed to interest me. An article on genetics caught my eye, so I decided to read that. I tried to just concentrate on my reading, but it was hard. My mind was obviously somewhere else today.

The thing I couldn't stop thinking about was my dad. Fathers day was tomorrow, and I really wanted to visit him. Its been a while since my last visit, and I really wanted to see him.

Even though my dad and I have had our ups and downs, I still loved him. He was always there for me when I really needed someone. When I got a little older, it seemed like my dad thought I was a disappointment to him. I tried my best to change his mind, but it never seemed to work. Even if he did act like he hated me, I still loved him so much, and I really wanted to visit him for fathers day. Just to show that I haven't forgotten about him.

I looked up when the front door to the apartment opened. Kendall, James and Carlos walked in.

"Hey Logie" Kendall said.

"Hey" I said.

Kendall walked over to me and sat down next to me. I placed my magazine on the coffee table, then snuggled closer to Kendall. He smiled and gently kissed me on the lips. James and Carlos walked into the living room and sat on the loveseat.

"So what's the plan for the weekend?" James asked.

"We should throw another party. Maybe a pool party or….." Carlos said.

"No parties. We don't need Bitters yelling at us" Kendall said.

"Fine" Carlos said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"We could got the beach. Maybe have a party there or something" James suggested.

"Yeah that sounds like fun. What do you think Logie?" Kendall asked.

"Um I actually already made plans" I said.

"Oh ok. What plans?" Kendall asked.

"Well you know how Fathers day is tomorrow" I said.

"Yeah so" Kendall said.

"Kenny I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to" I said.

"Logie its fine. You don't have to apologize" Kendall said.

"But I shouldn't have said anything. I know you hate your dad and….."

"I don't hate him, well I kinda do, but it doesn't matter. I'm more upset because he abandoned his own family. But anyway, what about fathers day?" Kendall asked.

"I wanted to go visit my dad. I really miss him, and I just want to see him" I said.

"Oh ok. Are you going alone?" Kendall asked.

"I thought about it, but I would rather you come with me" I said.

" Ok. I just have to ask my mom about it. But if its something like this, she will probably say yes" Kendall said.

I smiled and rested my Kendall's shoulder. "I love you Kenny"

"I love you too" he said.

"So does this mean no party?" Carlos asked.

***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR.

Kendall and I arrived in Minnesota a few hours ago, and I was already nervous. I was a little nervous on the plane, but I brushed it off. But now that that I was actually here in Minnesota, my nerves came back and hit me hard. I actually almost felt like throwing up at one point, but I relaxed myself.

I didn't know why I was feeling like this. There is no reason why I should be so nervous. I was just going to visit my dad, so why should I be nervous?

I looked out the car window and watched everything pass by. I missed Minnesota, but I loved California more. I enjoyed myself with my friends in L.A., but there was still so many memories in Minnesota.

I tried my best to visit my parents whenever I got the chance, but it was hard. Gustavo never really gave us a break to actually go somewhere. But when he did, I always made sure to visit my parents.

Kendall grabbed my hand and gently squeezed it. "Are you ok babe?"

"Yeah I'm fine. Just a little nervous I guess" I said.

"Still?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah" I said.

"Don't be. Your dad is going to be happy that you flew all this way to see him" Kendall said.

"What if he isn't? He never seemed to like me anyway" I said.

"Yes he did. He just was going through a difficult time, but he never hated you" Kendall said.

"Yeah I guess" I said.

"Remember when he took us to our first hockey game when we were seven. Would he have done that if he didn't love you?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah, but that was before he changed. When I started to get older, he changed a lot" I said.

"But he was still there for you Logie. Just like he is now" Kendall said.

"Yeah I know, but I'm still nervous" I said.

"Just relax Logie. Everything is going to be fine" Kendall said.

I sighed. "I hope so"

"Just trust me babe" Kendall said.

"Ok" I said.

I turned my attention back towards the window. I still felt a little nervous, but I tried to calm down. Kendall distracted me by talking to me or acting silly. When a song came on the radio, he would sing along and dance like an idiot. I couldn't help but laugh aloud. Kendall always knew how to cheer me up, even if that meant he had to act like an idiot.

After an hour of driving, we finally reached our destination. Kendall parked the car, then shut it off. I opened the car door, and got out. Kendall climbed out of the car, then walked over to me. He grabbed my hand and I smiled at him.

We slowly made our way through the green lawn. It was a really beautiful day, but even that didn't cheer me up. I started thinking about my dad, but I still couldn't relax. I still didn't know why I was so nervous. I squeezed Kendall's hand tighter, and he rubbed my knuckles soothingly with his thumb.

"Just relax Logie" Kendall said.

I nodded. "Ok"

After a few minutes, I started to feel a little better. We kept walking, then stopped.

"Is this it?" Kendall asked.

I nodded and kneeled down in the grass. I gently wiped away the dirt on the cool marble. My dads name came into view. I slowly traced my dads name with my finger.

Every time I come to visit my dad, it never seems real. It just feels weird to see my dads name on a tombstone. He was never supposed to have left his family, but he did. He was supposed to be with his family forever, but he wasn't. I wanted so badly for my dad to still be alive, but that was never going to happen. I loved him so much. Even if I was almost an adult, I still needed my dad.

"I miss you so much dad" I said.

Kendall handed me the flowers we brought, and I carefully placed them on my dads grave.

"Happy fathers day dad. I love you" I said.

Tears formed in my eyes, and started rolling down my face. I wiped a few away, but they kept flowing.

Kendall placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it. "Its ok Logie"

"I just miss him so much" I said.

Kendall kneeled down beside me, and held me tightly in his arms. I buried my face in his chest and cried. Kendall rubbed my back soothingly, but I still couldn't calm down. After a few minutes, I started to feel a little better. Kendall gave me a kiss on the head, then stood up. He offered me his hand, but I shook my head.

"I'll be there in a sec" I said.

"Are you sure?" Kendall asked.

"I'm sure" I said.

Kendall nodded, then walked back to the car. I watched him for a minute, then turned back to my dads grave. I gently touched the marble, and more tears came to my eyes. A few slipped, and I wiped them away.

"Dad, I'm sorry for being a disappointment to you. I tried my best to win your acceptance, and I'm sorry I never could. I tried to be a perfect son, but I couldn't. I still feel guilty about everything, but mom said it wasn't my fault. Maybe if I didn't upset you as much as I did, you would still be here. I hope you don't hate me anymore. Even though you changed a lot and acted like a jerk, I never hated you. I just hope you still love me and finally accepted me. I love you dad so much, and I hope you can forgive me, because I've already forgiven you."

I wiped my eyes, and fixed the flowers on my dads grave.

"I love you dad. Happy Fathers day"


End file.
